Hair or Hero

Getting a haircut or becoming a missionary, which would you say is more pleasing to God?

The missionary duh! I mean growing up in the church we are "unofficially" taught that the highest level of holy that you could get was being a missionary, being a pastor was a close second, so I guess that makes us pastors kids third by association.

When I was in high school I was extremely excited to go on my first missions trip. This was the first big God step that every Christian should take. I had grown up following Christ, but now I was going to prove it by going to the other side of the world Thailand. The trip opened my eyes to injustice and I began to imagine how I would be the one to save the day. I assumed that God always asked for you to take a huge step of faith, like instantly moving to another country to be the hero. After getting home I realized that I must be called into full time missions in Thailand. I didn't think I needed to really pray about it because it was a good thing, I mean I would go right after college and save people. I already had the plan of what Nonprofit I would work with and where I would live.

 As the trip became further back in my memories I started to worry that maybe this was not the lane for me. I had already told everyone I knew that I felt this call in my life. As these anxieties started coming up I talked to my dad about it. He told me to just pray if the feeling got stronger it was God, if it got weaker it wasn't. Simple enough, I am sure God will prove me right at any moment. Turns out when you pray for things, it gives God the permission to actually speak.

The feeling got weaker.

Now I am sure some of you are wondering what I meant when my first line was about getting a hair cut. When I was a freshman in college I was looking in the mirror one day and had the thought that I should cut and donate my hair. Wait what? No. I loved my long hair, that is what made me feel beautiful. I kind of laughed off the thought assuming I just didn't want to study anymore. When I was younger I had short hair, all one length, with a middle part. Ouch. So needless to say I did not find short hair cute on me. I loved it on other people, but for me I just could not picture it. For some reason this pesky thought kept coming to my mind. Finally I decided I would pray about it and I knew God would tell me I was being silly, why would God want me to cut my hair?

The feeling got stronger.

Wait that is not what should be happening. I was so frustrated that I decided to tell God that the only way I would cut my hair was if he gave me a good reason. (P.s maybe don't demand things from the creator of the universe, he might actually answer). As soon as the words left my mouth I heard the words in my mind "let me be the one that defines your beauty". Dang, that was a really good answer. I needed to cut my hair to let God define my beauty. This is a lesson many girls never hear. God has called us his beautiful daughters and for that reason I am always beautiful to him, even with short hair. If I am a missionary or if I am living on the street (preferably the beach) all God wants from me is my obedience.God has called me to follow him one step at a time and eventually those little steps might just be able to help people.

God is the true hero, so why do I keep trying to steal the role.