I haven't opened this blog in almost ten years, but I guess 2016 is trending this year- so I figured I might as well jump on the trend and share a new blog post. I wrote it for myself, but I was shocked to see that even after 10 years, some people still seem to find this blog.
In high school, college, and even now I have had the dreaded friend zone conversations with many crushes over the years. No joke, one time a guy I had a crush on sang me the beloved Spice Girls song "if you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" not so subtly implying that he was trying to be friends with me to get closer to my friend...awesome.
I grew up making friends relatively easy with everyone (not just with guys I wanted to date). I moved around a lot and always had to make new friends in new cities. It came naturally to me. As an adult, I talk to a lot of people and I didn't realize how hard it was for other people to make friends. I am able to know pretty quickly how a person communicates and what kind of friendship they are looking for (deep, social, even one-time). I feel incredibly grateful for all of the various types of friends I have had over the years- no matter how long they have been in my life.
Making friends may have been easy growing up, but finding my "life calling" now that was something that I never felt like I had a hold on. Fun fact, I actually think I had a class in undergrad called "Life Calling" to try and help. Anyways, I always believed people all had a particular calling for their lives. Either a passion filled career or a family, something they could invest their time in and give their lives a purpose and legacy. Back when I first started this blog, I had no idea what my calling was. I thought maybe I would be a missionary, psycologist, or lawyer fighting against injustice. I thought I would be a wife and mother creating a legacy for my family.
Now, ten years later I am not doing any of those things. I'm single, living in a studio apartment, and have a great job- but nothing that I would consider a calling. I have people in my life who have always known what they wanted do with their lives- they wanted to be a medical provider, a mother, or a therapist and they are doing those things, investing in their legacy and passions. I love where I am at in life, but I have been thinking about my calling a lot lately, and if I even have one.
Recently a friend was talking with me and she said that God had given me the gift of friendship. I never really thought of being a good friend as a gift let alone a calling. Being a good friend is something I have always taken so seriously, and honestly it's hard sometimes. Like any relationship, it takes a lot of patience, communication, and effort to be a good friend. It means that I'm doing my best to know what my friends are doing and how I can best support them. I moved around a lot, so my friend groups don't really overlap much. Different friends from different seasons of my life who are now in very different seasons of their lives, all of whom I want to give my love and attention to.
What would it mean if I considered friendship to be a calling and a gift? It means that my life has more purpose than I even realized, it means for the last 30 years I wasn't waiting to get to my calling (a job or a family) but instead I was living in it. Day after day spending time with friends laughing, crying, drinking, and sharing life together.
Maybe one day I'll get out of the friend zone and move toward another calling- but for now, I think the friend zone is right where I need to be. A calling might not be as complicated as I thought it was 10 years ago, maybe it's as simple as it sounds, be a good friend to the people in my life who care about me.
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