Friend Zoned

I haven't opened this blog in almost ten years, but I guess 2016 is trending this year- so I figured I might as well jump on the trend and share a new blog post. I wrote it for myself, but I was shocked to see that even after 10 years, some people still seem to find this blog. 

In high school, college, and even now I have had the dreaded friend zone conversations with many crushes over the years. No joke, one time a guy I had a crush on sang me the beloved Spice Girls song "if you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" not so subtly implying that he was trying to be friends with me to get closer to my friend...awesome. 

I grew up making friends relatively easy with everyone (not just with guys I wanted to date). I moved around a lot and always had to make new friends in new cities. It came naturally to me. As an adult, I talk to a lot of people and I didn't realize how hard it was for other people to make friends. I am able to know pretty quickly how a person communicates and what kind of friendship they are looking for (deep, social, even one-time). I feel incredibly grateful for all of the various types of friends I have had over the years- no matter how long they have been in my life. 

Making friends may have been easy growing up, but finding my "life calling" now that was something that I never felt like I had a hold on. Fun fact, I actually think I had a class in undergrad called "Life Calling" to try and help. Anyways, I always believed people all had a particular calling for their lives. Either a passion filled career or a family, something they could invest their time in and give their lives a purpose and legacy. Back when I first started this blog, I had no idea what my calling was. I thought maybe I would be a missionary, psycologist, or lawyer fighting against injustice. I thought I would be a wife and mother creating a legacy for my family. 

Now, ten years later I am not doing any of those things. I'm single, living in a studio apartment, and have a great job- but nothing that I would consider a calling. I have people in my life who have always known what they wanted do with their lives- they wanted to be a medical provider, a mother, or a therapist and they are doing those things, investing in their legacy and passions. I love where I am at in life, but I have been thinking about my calling a lot lately, and if I even have one. 

Recently a friend was talking with me and she said that God had given me the gift of friendship. I never really thought of being a good friend as a gift let alone a calling. Being a good friend is something I have always taken so seriously, and honestly it's hard sometimes. Like any relationship, it takes a lot of patience, communication, and effort to be a good friend. It means that I'm doing my best to know what my friends are doing and how I can best support them. I moved around a lot, so my friend groups don't really overlap much. Different friends from different seasons of my life who are now in very different seasons of their lives, all of whom I want to give my love and attention to. 

What would it mean if I considered friendship to be a calling and a gift? It means that my life has more purpose than I even realized, it means for the last 30 years I wasn't waiting to get to my calling (a job or a family) but instead I was living in it. Day after day spending time with friends laughing, crying, drinking, and sharing life together.

Maybe one day I'll get out of the friend zone and move toward another calling- but for now, I think the friend zone is right where I need to be. A calling might not be as complicated as I thought it was 10 years ago, maybe it's as simple as it sounds, be a good friend to the people in my life who care about me.

Rescue

Rescue.

One word that means something completely different to every person who reads it. To the 45 million people trapped in slavery right now the word rescue is likely as far off in their minds as the words lottery winner are in mine. Wining millions would be nice, but it’s not the reality that I live in, so why even hope for it. Many people around the world have no choice in their lives. Born a slave, live a slave, and die a slave. In my world I can make choices, I can choose to pursue an education and can joyfully spend time with friends and family.

Currently I am working for a nonprofit called International Justice Mission (IJM). They choose to speak up for those trapped in slavery all over the world and bring rescue into the lives of unsuspecting men, women, and children.  It is amazing to hear all of the beautiful stories that IJM shares about the restoration process that begins with a rescue. But the rescue process is not as cut and dry as some might think. The local law enforcement needs to take time to fully analyze the situation. They need to know exactly when and where to organize the rescue. The operation also needs to be kept quiet. If the traffickers catch wind of a plan, they could pick up and move locations taking the lives of innocent people to a new dark location. A rescue takes so much dedication and determination but the reward is freedom. Physical, mental, and emotional freedom. The men, women and children who are saved in these operations usually have no idea that it is coming. They are just living in this world of darkness some are hoping for rescue, others have given up the dream of ever being free. Then one day…everything changes. Freedom is no longer a nice idea, but a reality.

I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in thinking that because we are not physically restrained like many around the world that we don’t need rescue. Yet many of us are stuck in our own slavery. We are stuck in fear, pride, bad relationships, shame and hopelessness.

 Colossians 1: 13-14 says

 “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” NLT

Jesus is the ultimate rescue operation. He already did the intel gathering, the planning, and he knew the perfect time to come and set the world free from darkness. God did not just come to set us free physically, but to free us from the mental slavery that we all experience. I wonder if God is like our rescue operations team. He knows we are not living in freedom, even if we think nothing will ever change, he knows the rescue is just around the corner. He is patiently reminding us that he is with us in the darkness, and that he will lead us into the light.

God never wants us to feel alone, because he has already sent in the rescue team. Once we accept that we have been rescued it means we no longer have to live in fear, instead we can rejoice in freedom.

Comfort Zone

If I had to describe my ideal comfort zone in two words, it would be "Church Camp". If you know me you know that I grew up going to camp. Every summer since 2nd grade I have been at church camp. I grew up in the church and that is comfortable for me. Being outside swimming in a dirty lake, getting eaten by mosquitoes, and praising God in a room full of Jr. Highers who haven't seen a shower in 4 days is what I live for. God has done some amazing things in my life while I remained in my comfort zone. I even got to attend a school that, well basically is church camp with homework.

During my senior year of college I assumed I would stay in this awesome zone God had always allowed me to stay in. I was taking a "how to adult class" (don't remember what the real name of the class was) and during the first day we had to talk about where we saw ourselves in 5 years. I had no real idea so I went with what I knew and said I would be working/ running a camp. During this one semester God called me out. He put an idea in my heart that I never would have come up with on my own. Law School. Now I know many of you already know this story, but you might not realize how surprised I was when this thought first came to my mind. Like I freaked out a little. I am someone who would rather travel the globe and be a missionary (like my parents), work in a church, or at a camp, I worried God had me confused with someone else.

I gave God lots of time to change his mind....yet here I am less than a year later and accepted to 4 out of the 5 schools I have applied to (still waiting to hear from #5). God has proved in ways I never imagined and going outside of my comfort zone took more faith than anything I have had to do. He put the destination Washington DC on my heart and so I immediately started looking for how I could get out there before I even started school. As I was searching Google I came across an internship position with International Justice Mission (IJM). IJM is a nonprofit that seeks justice for those in modern day slavery all around the world. The deadline for the application was in one week, so I sat down updated my resume, cover letter, etc. and sent in the application. I prayed about it and didn't really expect to hear back. After two interviews I got the unpaid internship, and was thrilled about moving out to DC. I have been raising support for the last couple months but the full picture of what this meant did not hit me until I started packing today.

As I started packing I realized what I am doing. I am moving by myself to a new city, a city that I have only visited one other time. I am moving in with someone I have never met in person. I will be learning to use public transportation and will be paying much more for just about everything. I will be getting to DC as the new President of the United States will be inaugurated, the whole world will be watching this new place I am calling home. Honestly, I'm scared, I tried telling God this is too far outside of my comfort zone, that I can't do this. But his gentle voice calmed me and reminded me that I was right, I can't do this, but He can.

Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

God will speak to us in our comfort zones, but eventually he will call us out. God knows that new faith comes when we step out of the known and dive head first into the unknown. So, here I go! In three 1/2 weeks I will be officially leaving my comfort zone. I am excited and nervous all at once, but I know that God has called me and will provide for me.

Fog

Today I was driving to church and the fog was so dense, I could barely see the car in front of me let alone the road ahead. I had driven the same road before so I could predict where the exit was on the highway without needing to see the exit sign. While I was driving I was just so thankful I have been on this road before. If I was in a new town trying to follow someone's directions I would be so lost! The signs for roads were visible only after I was passing them.

Today at church we talked about taking risks and stepping out in faith. Doing things just because God asks us is so much harder when we can't see the road or the street signs. Sometimes stepping out in faith is like driving in fog. We can see a little bit of road directly in front of us and we can choose to follow the tail lights of a car leading the way, but it makes us feel nervous in unfamiliar areas.

I feel like I am driving in a fog right now with my future.  Thankfully God is the car in front of me and I am turning when God turns and braking when I see the tail lights ahead of me brake. Just because I know he is in front of me does not mean that I am not scared. I can't see the future or where I will end up. I was obedient to apply to law school when God asked me to, but now I have to wait weeks for any kind of answer. I have no idea how I will pay for law school or even my internship that begins in two months.

All I can do is follow the lights in front of me. I can't pass and try and lead the way (like I usually try to do) because then I will really be lost. God promises to take care of us on our journey "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

God never says that the weather will always be sunny or a complete storm will fall on us, sometimes we are just in a fog. God is reminding us that he is in control and as long as we keep our eyes on him he will lead us to where we need to be, even if that is not where we originally thought the journey was taking us.

Walking to tear down walls

Following God doesn't always look the way we thought it would. Today I was reading Joshua 6, and the story basically is about how this hero Joshua leads his people to a crushing (literally) defeat of Jericho. Now there is a slight twist in this story, Joshua's people didn't fight or use any tools/ weapons to get into the impenetrable city.

Jericho was the biggest baddest place around, it had huge walls and no one was aloud in or out. God came to Joshua and told him that he would defeat Jericho, but it was in an unusual way. God actually asked Joshua to walk around the city every day for six days, then on the seventh day walk around the city seven times and scream. Then, the angel of the Lord said the city will crumble and be yours.

Now if I was receiving these instructions I would probably laugh. God, how can walking destroy a city? How can screaming tear down brick walls? Joshua didn't ask any questions though, he was obedient without the "how".

I feel like God has called me to some amazing things like International Justice Mission (IJM) and law school, but I can't see the how. I feel like God is asking me to just walk in circles for no reason. I don't understand why this is happening or how things can get done without me making things happen.

If I was in Joshua's army I would worry that I wasn't doing enough. If God really told us we would take Jericho than we should start striking the wall with weapons and fighting till the last breath to get to where God wants us to be, but that would still be doing things my way.

I try to listen to God and as soon as I hear the first thing he wants me to do, I do it full strength. I think God loves that about our faith when we are willing to do everything to get to his plan for us, but we also need to remember it is still His plan. Law school and an internship in DC was never a part of my plan, so when God let me in on the secret I started planning how I would do what God wants for me.Don't get me wrong, it is great to dream, but we also need to be obedient when God is asking us to do little things that may not make an instant impact on our dreams.

Joshua walked around the wall for six days, I wonder if he was looking for a crack in the wall with every step he took. I wonder if he wanted God to explain how walking could contribute to the demise of a city. Maybe each step put pressure on some platelet underneath the city and the magnetic force would.... or maybe God just wanted Joshua to be obedient and show both armies His power.

Right now I am in my "six days". I feel like God has called me to a Jericho but I can't get inside the walls yet. I worry about the finances and where I will live, I worry about the applications and the personal statements, but the truth is I can't do this my way. I need to listen to what God is asking me to do. I still need to take action, but the action might be waiting and praying for God to do a miracle.

God has called all of us to amazing things and he knows the best way for us to reach what we are looking for. We just need to surrender our ways to God. Even if that means walking for a while and seeing no progress, we never know when the day will come when God will tell us to scream and the walls will fall down.

The Ultimate Surgeon

Mark 2:17 says "On hearing this, Jesus said to them, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners.'"

I am sure many people have heard this verse, but have you ever really thought about it. I was thinking about this verse and instantly thought of Grey's Anatomy (just me, okay good), anyways on a more relevant note I started thinking about how Jesus did come as a surgeon. Not just for the body, but for the mind and spirit.

So this lead me to start thinking about how a surgeon operates. The surgeon never forces anyone to have surgery, he or she simply tells the person why they are feeling sick and that if they don't have the surgery they will get worse. The surgery is long and the recovery process will be hard and painful, but the thing inside of you is killing you. Surgeons are experienced and have a lot more medical knowledge than most of us combined, but surgery is still a scary thing.

This is how I feel like God operates. The bible is kind of like Web MD (maybe slightly more accurate) in giving you the symptoms of what is healthy and what makes you sick. Once we begin feeling sick we check our handy-dandy Bible and "type in our symptoms". Symptoms for today could be a bit of jealous, maybe a little pride and just a dab of lust. You search the results and find out what you have is terminal and can only be fixed with surgery. The surgery has a 100% recover rate if the patient fallows all post-op instructions. We then have the chance to talk to the surgeon about it. God tells us that we can't keep any of the bad stuff inside. He needs to remove it all. Would you say yes to the surgery?

If we were honest I think some of us would still be really hesitant. I am not saying it is easy to sign over our lives to God, because it is not easy. He requires us to completely trust his surgical hands. I worry that when I get out of surgery I won't feel like myself, I worry he will take more than he said he would, I worry that the pain and recovery process will be to hard. Some of us have seen people go through the surgery and still end up terminal later in life, others have had the surgery before and felt mislead about the recovery process.

I need to remember that God is a better surgeon than any doctor on Grey's Anatomy. He always has a successful surgery. He never leaves our side to visit other patients. He doesn't even want us to pay him, all we have to do is live our lives according to the post-op instructions. It  might sound easy to give God everything and sign up for the surgery, until he starts sharing some of the risks. We could lose some friends, might need to find some new places to hang out, or even be asked to move across the world to help others realize the need for surgery in their lives. But the risks never out way the rewards. The reward is life! God tells us that if we give him all our yucky stuff and let him heal us and make us new that we can have a full life with him.

A full life is never easy, but it is always worth it.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, or maybe you should.

I'm sure most of us have heard the phrase "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", and in fact I knew generally what this meant but had never heard an official definition. So I decided to look up what exactly that phrase meant. Dictionary.com defines that phrase as "Don't concentrate all your prospects or resources in one thing or place, or you could lose everything." Well to be honest this was a much stronger definition than I thought. The idea that if you put too much of your resources into something you could literally lose everything.

But what about Faith.

What if God calls you to do something, should we continue to plan for our "plan B"? I am not advocating that we should never have a backup plan or that we should never plan things. However I am saying that I don't think faith needs a backup plan. When God really calls us to do something, he wants us to be all in. Not just our time, not just our money, not just our relationships, but all of it and more. God is asking us if we will put all of our hard earned eggs into his basket. Once the eggs leave our hands the what ifs start coming up. What if everything I am investing in is taken and I lose everything?

I guess my thought is how can we lose everything when we believe that God is our everything and since we can't lose him we can never lose everything (sorry some of my logical reasoning from studying for the LSAT is coming into my thinking lately).
Deuteronomy 31: 6 says "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Faith is a pretty scary thing, trust me I get that. Faith means that you are putting every single egg you have into Gods basket, his plan, and there is no way to know for sure... but God does promise that everything he does is to better us and not harm us. When I felt like God called me to law school I had no idea why he would do that, or how it would happen. Does he know how many loans I already have? Does he know that I am less qualified than almost any other applicant? Does he know how much it costs just to apply, let alone how much law school is? God why would you call me to something that bleeds me dry? The only answer I have to offer is faith. I have always trusted God and he has never let me down. All I can do is keep giving him my eggs.

Some people think I am crazy and ask me what I will do when this "law school thing" doesn't work out, they want to know what my plan B is. The truth is I don't have one. If for some reason Gods plan changes and I don't go, then I trust he will provide me with a different opportunity. All God asks of me right now is to do my best and put everything into what I think would please him. So I am. I am studying almost every day for a test that is in two more months. I am buying all the materials I need to succeed because faith doesn't mean I just sit around and wait for God to accept me into my dream school, it requires work.  Faith is work. Putting all my eggs in one basket is hard! Trusting God when you can't see the end game is so hard, but so rewarding. I am thankful to have grown up watching my parents not have a plan B. They recently moved to New Zealand because God asked them to. Yes, it was scary and yes they worried about what if it didn't work. But, they still kept putting all their eggs in the basket God had given them. They didn't save one car "just in case" they come back early. They didn't keep the house "just in case". They gave it all to God and I was able to see how God provided for them in ways that their plan B could have never done.

I don't have all the answers about when is it okay to have a backup plan and when is it okay to just have faith. The truth is, God will tell you if you ask him. Faith is not one size fits all. Faith is available in all shapes and sizes, but it looks different for everyone. For me I had to make a commitment and start focusing all I have on this new path. For my family it was letting go of everything that was familiar and safe for the unknown. Putting all your eggs in one basket is never easy, but faith reminds us that we can never truly lose everything, only gain more of a trust in God.

Piece of a Puzzle

Everyone does puzzles a little bit differently; some people find all the outer pieces and work their way in, some work on specific colors or shapes, and some that are like me just jab at all the pieces until something fits. The really intense puzzle people don't even look at the box, they just know exactly how everything should fit, in case you were wondering I am not one of those people.

I'm sure many of us have heard analogies about life and puzzle pieces, but bear with me. Imagine that your whole life is a bunch of puzzle pieces. Each year/ moment/ event is a piece. Except we can't see the box...or most of the pieces.

Honestly, I have no idea where I will be in the next five years, or even the next five days. But I continue to try and put the pieces together myself. I know God is powerful and has a plan for my life, but I still try and put the puzzle of my life together. Sometimes I will look up to God (who has the box and knows what all the pieces are) and ask if these two pieces go together, then before he has a chance to respond I start jabbing away trying to make it fit. Once I break off a few of the unnecessary edges I proudly say that they definitely do fit together! Until much later when I realized that the original piece was supposed to fit somewhere else in my life.

I tend to see other people who have their lives together and I wonder why can't my puzzle look like that, and then I might even start trying to fit my pieces together to look like theirs. Sometimes I will see someone who also has a mind like mine and they are doing amazing things to help people all over the world, so I start trying to use my strength in the same way that they do...but it won't fit. We can't base our puzzle on the pieces that other people have put together.

The more I try to put my life pieces together the more I get confused. I ask God how does law school fit into the puzzle? What about the husband piece? What piece has my future city on it? What about the finance piece? I keeping looking for the pieces myself, when God is patiently waiting for me to hand him one to use.

At the end of our lives we will finally see every piece come together, but we can't right now no matter how hard we try. Lately I just keep feeling like God is asking me to give him the pieces of my puzzle one at a time and he will put them together. Okay God, you want my future location here take it, you want my time it's yours, God you can have all of my pieces because I literally have no idea what to do with them. I am so thankful to have a just and loving God to put my life together. I know that I am not giving things up just for fun, but that I will have so much more joy and peace once I am not spending so much time putting the pieces together myself.

God has already begun to show me how he has put pieces together over the course of my life and seeing what he has done in the past encourages me to keep trusting that everything will be put together according to his perfect plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Stop trying to jab the pieces together and just hand off one piece at a time. God will create a beautiful masterpiece even better than what we can dream of ourselves.

Princess or Warrior

Growing up in the church as a girl I always heard about how I can be a Proverbs 31 woman. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, it is a famous part of the bible that talks about the wife of noble character. I really do love this verse and I do think that women of all ages can strive for the characteristics of being a strong Christian woman, but I always think about the fact that I am not married.

I am less than a week from my 22nd birthday and I have never been on a date. I am not saying this for sympathy or for encouragement, it is simply a fact. Seeing so many of my best friends and people I know getting married makes me so joyful for them, but also makes me wonder why not me. Going to a Christian college we had a motto, "ring by spring". For those of you outside the bubble this means that most girls feel pressure to graduate with an engagement ring and a diploma (in that order). Going through college I thought that was what I wanted more than anything, to be engaged so I can truly fulfill the call of being a Proverbs 31 woman (I know not my greatest mindset).

Now some of you are wondering if I chose to "Kiss Dating Goodbye" but the truth is, I just didn't have the opportunity. I am in no way against going on a date or even getting married young, but I am saying for me I do not feel ready to be married right now, although I do have the wedding part planned (thanks Pinterest). This last year I feel like God has been calling me to something different than just to be a typical "Proverbs 31 woman"

I honestly wasn't planning on writing this blog tonight, I had other less vulnerable ideas that I tried to make work. But I guess I just really want girls to know that God doesn't just tell us we are his beautiful princess (even though he does say that a lot, thankfully) but we are also a warrior. God has been challenging me to think of myself as more than just his beautiful princess because I am not weak and in need of rescuing by a dashing prince. I am a warrior that gets to fight for my father the king of kings. For me this word warrior came to mind around the same semester I felt God had called me to law school. So as I dove into his word I found the following verse.

Proverbs 31:8-9
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."

As I read this verse I gained a whole new perspective on what it means to live out the chapter of Proverbs 31. These two verses are right before the verses about the noble wife. God has called me to stand up for the poor and needy and seek justice. For me to do this I need to put down my crown and get a little dirty. God has commissioned us as women to not only accept our right as daughters and princesses but also as warriors for God. We get to be on the front lines fighting against injustice. We can be in relationships or single and the awesome thing is that God can still use us. I am not saying I will never be married, but I am saying that God has given me a unique opportunity to peruse him in my singleness. I don't want to focus on where or when I will meet the "right guy" I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman who is speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves and defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Dandelions

For Mothers Day as a kid I remember being so excited to give mom a present that was just from me. Yeah, dad helped us get the "big gift" that was from me and my sister (big as in it was not homemade), but I always wanted to get something just from me. Most times as a kid this would include a hand made card with lots of pink hearts on it and a beautiful bouquet of dandelions.

Now most of you are thinking awe..that is cute a little kid brought her mom a handful of weeds. If you did not already know dandelions are technically weeds. It's crazy though because I honestly don't think I ever learned that fun fact from my mom. She would gladly accept my handcrafted bouquet and even put it in water so they wouldn't wilt.So who was the person that shattered my world and told me dandelions were not flowers but ugly weeds? I don't remember who exactly it was, but I do remember it was not the person who I was even giving the flowers to, my mom.

So who told us that the dandelions we give God are not enough? I know I have thought this in my own life. I would be so excited to show God how great it was that I prayed AND read my Bible yesterday and right as I am about to hand him my dandelion someone mentions that they not only prayed, and read their Bible, but they also went to an extra church service. Now this person is handing God roses, so I assume he would never want my dandelions because it is just a weed...but he never said that.

The world and sometimes even the church is really good at telling us what talents are roses and which talents are dandelions. God never said "Well Sally went to three extra prayer meetings so you had better step up your game".He never told us that dandelions were weeds, he has always accepted them as flowers for his beautiful garden.

The Bible actually talks about this in Mark 12:43-44 " Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offering where put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, ' I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything all she had.'"

This story is showing us God choose the dandelion over the rose. What would have happened if that women choose to not give any money because the most high King was standing there and she feared he would think less of her for giving less than everyone around her. We get so caught up in making sure the "gifts" we give to God are worthy, that sometimes we take too long and miss an opportunity. We see some of our offerings to God as weeds, but he sees every offering as a treasured and beautiful flower.

God loves receiving our dandelions, because he loves us. He does not see weeds and problems with our talents, he sees our willingness and eagerness to give him the only gift we have. 

Follow Suit

Playing board games and card games were never really a part of what my family did growing up. So coming from Michigan it was shameful that I did not learn how to play Euchre until I was in late high school. Now if you are asking what Euchre is, then you are likely not from Michigan.

Anyways, euchre is a card game played with partners. I don't have a detailed description of it, I'm sure google could help you out, but basically you and your partner want to win the most "tricks" to get points. There is always a trump suit, let's say hearts. Yet in the game the most important rule is to follow suit. So if someone leads with diamonds, you have to follow suit. If I lay a heart to win the trick but don't follow suit I am charged with "reneging" and you actually lose the hand.

I think sometimes we renege God. He laid a card down and we decide to pull out our trump card. I know God you want me to do this, but what you don’t know is that I actually have a better offer in my hand, sorry God but I got this one. The problem with not following suit is that we end up screwing up the game and loosing points. I am not saying that God is keeping score, but I am saying that he knows our cards.

I graduate in less than 5 weeks and I keep trying to tell God what cards I have. God I have a jack of hearts (that would then be the highest card) wouldn’t you want me to play that one. But he leads Diamonds and all I have is a 9 (lowest card). God why would you want me to play my weakest card when I can win this right now.

Lately I feel like God is asking for my lowest card. I am graduating with a Psychology degree and most people will tell me that my next step is graduate school for counseling. I have been praying about my future and I feel like that is trump. Going to grad school for counseling makes sense. I have experience with psychology, I know people in psychology, and I have seen many good Christian psychologists who help people. These are warm empathetic people, yet I still felt like I couldn’t play it.

In the last few months I feel like God is pulling a different lead and I am so scared to follow suit.

The new suit that is being laid is law school.  Now that might sound great to some people but I have never wanted to go into law. I don’t know how I can win this hand. I have no experience in law, I don’t know a lot of people in law, I don’t even think I am qualified for law school but I need to follow suit. God has placed this on my heart and I have no idea why, I can’t see the end game but I know it is the right next step. If I decided to peruse counseling, when I feel this strongly toward law school I would be reneging on God.

In the Bible, Moses tries to renege. God had called Moses to free his people and this was his response

 Exodus 4:10 "Moses said to the Lord, ‘O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.’”

Moses felt like he was being told to lay the 9 of diamonds. God I have other gifts, things I am good at and know, why not use me for those things and use someone else for this freedom stuff. God knew Moses’ hand and that he could win this fight for freedom.

I have to trust God that he knows my hand. He knows that I have the lowest card and am the most unworthy for this new journey, and he still is laying diamonds.

God’s call on your life is not always your biggest and best qualities, it is not always your experience that qualifies you; sometimes he asks for our 9’s to prove HE can still win the hand with our lowest card.

Full Contact

I love watching sports, especially Detroit sports teams.

 Now sports can be broken into many different categories but one of the overall categories people want to know is whether the sport is contact or non-contact. Hockey and football are full contact (unless you're a wimp) and golf is best known as a non-contact sport. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love watching contact sports. I don't want anyone to seriously get hurt, but sometimes the Red Wings (Detroit-Hockey) need to knock some guys around to get the puck. Athletes will do anything for their team to win, and usually us crazy fans will cheer on this full contact behavior because we want them to win just as bad.

In non-contact sports sometimes I fall asleep. I really get that people like golf and you are entitled to that opinion, but I get bored not being able to root for a team or watch any good hits. Non-contact sports are definitely safer because there is less chance of getting hurt. They are safe and comfortable, you can play and practice with no real chance of injury. 

If someone decides to join a contact sport, like football but then runs away and drops the ball because he is scared to get tackled he certainly would not be playing very long. Once a football player decides to run with the ball he can't just stop when he sees a defensive player coming at him, if he wants to make the play he goes until the defensive player has taken him all the way down. Full contact.

I think sometimes when we decided to play for God's team it is like signing up for a full contact sport. We are asked to leave the comfort of non-contact and plunge head first into God's plan. A good coach will not lie to you and tell you that no one will ever touch you and that you will always get the ball cleanly into the end-zone. A good coach will teach you how to take the hits and keep moving forward. 

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!"

God called us into a full contact game. He tells us from the very beginning that he wants us on his team no matter what our background is. He is the ultimate coach, he knows that you will get hit a few times but he loves us so much that he gave each of us a play book. The Bible is God's instruction on how to take a hit and keep moving. He tells us that there will be trouble in this world, but the game is already won. 

I know it is easier to play non-contact, you get to continue doing your dream job, you get to stay safe in America, you never have to risk too much. Unfortunately you can't be on God's team and be playing no contact. Living full contact for God means running into new areas of life, moving around the world because others need to join the team. Full contact means not living comfortable, but it does mean you can have peace and joy during the game. 

If you say that you are on God's team, then you are signed up for full contact. He will never force you to listen to his calls, but remembering the playbook sure is helpful when a hit is coming your way.

God wants you on his team. It will be hard, but the game is already won. Just keep getting back up and going over the plays.

Leaving The Trading Post

I love camp!

Every summer since around 1st grade I have been either attending a camp or working at a camp. In high school I loved going to camp not only to chase cute lifeguards, hang out with my best friends, but also to experience God in a very powerful way.

When I got to college I found out that I could actually work at a camp all summer as a counselor. All the crazy camp memories started flooding to mind and all the counselors I had that made such an impact on my life in one short week.

This camp that I would be working at was about 100 times bigger than the one I had come from. Every day we had a schedule full of awesome activities, like zip-lining, the waterslide, and rock climbing.  Something I realized was that the girls had no idea how cool this camp actually was, much like myself during training week. When our first activity was trading post (a snack shop) they loved it! I would always laugh because they kept telling me how much they love camp, but all they did was buy M&Ms at 9am. I was so excited for them to fully experience all that camp had to offer, like the amazing waterslide.

Since I was the one with the watch, I would excitedly tell the girls it was finally time to leave trading post and get to the big stuff, the waterslide. I was so excited to share this amazing piece of camp with the girls, but some of them groaned. They actually wanted to stay at the trading post! They loved playing outside and eating tons of candy, I didn't have the heart to tell them that they could get that stuff at a gas station. But eventually they would get their stuff together and follow me.

Well, to get to the waterslide we needed to walk through some tough terrain. We had to walk through dirt and trees on a narrow path and the girls would complain about why we even left the trading post, it was fun there! They just had no idea what was coming and how good it would be for them.

When we finally got to the destination it was so amazing to see their faces light up. The cool blue water winding down the giant yellow slide was beautiful. I never wanted to make my girls sad by leaving the trading post, I really wanted them to have joy. But I also knew that our time at the trading post was just for a short time and the stuff that was next was even more fun.

I think sometimes God has so much more for us than just the trading post. He wants to show us the waterslide, but loves us to much to force us to leave our comfort zone. As I go into graduation in a few months I am realizing that I have to leave my comfortable trading post. This was my first "activity" of adulthood, but now it is time for new things. God is looking at me with joy and excitement because he knows the good that is just through the narrow path. I want to be excited for this next phase, but I have never experienced it. All I know is the trading post, but thankfully God has already made it to the waterslide and he came back for me so that I can also enjoy it.

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Sometimes God doesn't tell us what the next activity is on our list of life, but he does promise to stay with us the entire journey. What kind of counselor would I be if I told my girls to leave the trading post and just wonder around until they found what I was secretly hoping they would find. No! I lead them the whole time. I encourage them to keep walking when the terrain gets tough. God is always with us and guiding us, it's just that sometimes we need to leave our comfort zone and fully commit to the walk before we can ever find out how cool the next activity really is.

Because I Said So

I am thankful that my parents won't be at my college graduation.

Now some of you read that a few times and think that I must have had a typo or that I have a rocky relationship with my parents. Actually, it is quite the opposite, I want to be just like them.

Growing up as a pastor's kid we moved around a lot. At first I hated it, I had friends and a life in these small towns. My parents always said that we were moving because God said so. Thinking about this phrase reminds me of a four year old. They ask so many questions. I was the kid that asked above and beyond the quota of questions. I had to ask at least 5 different questions just to figure out what kind of sandwich we were having for lunch. Eventually most parents get to the point where they just say "because I said so".

Parents love their kids so much that they would do anything to protect them, including asking them to do things "because I said so". When a child is about to jump off a roof to see if he can fly like his favorite super hero there is not a whole lot of reasons he can see that this could be a problem (since duh he saw it on TV and it worked then). Since the child loves and respects his mother he will listen to her when she says "because I said so", he might throw a fit but he will be safe and as the mom you know that he will understand why he couldn't fly off the roof when he gets older.

We listen to our parents "because I said so" because we know that they love us and want the best for us. Yet when God asks us to do something we always ask a million and a half questions. Where will we live, how will we make money, what if things don't work out? These are all questions my family has been asking a lot lately. I can picture God smiling at us and saying "because I said so". He doesn't say it to be mean, but he can see so much more than we can and sometimes we just have to obey and trust that eventually we will learn why we couldn't jump off the roof.

Today my parents are moving to New Zealand, a place kind of like Australia on the other side of the world. They are going over there because God said so. They don't have a house, don't have jobs, and just got their visas a few weeks ago. They sold everything they own, including our house, cars, and almost all our possessions. My sister is putting off college and work so that she can follow God to my families' new destination. This is crazy!

Who would do all of this without a for sure answer to any of their million and a half questions?

Well that is exactly what God asks us to do. In Luke 14:33 Jesus says
"In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."

I think most people, like me, think that this verse is so great... until God actually asks us to do it. Yeah God, I will give up my Saturday nights, Sunday mornings, and maybe a Wednesday night if I'm feeling Holy. What about the other stuff, our comfort, our family, everything we have worked for. For us to truly follow God, we need to give up EVERYTHING that he asks us to just "because he says so". Eventually God will reveal why things are happening but until then we have faith that he loves us so much and only wants the best for us. God never makes us do anything, but he does invite us to trust him with all of our unanswered questions and just jump into faith.

My parents have no idea what the future holds moving to a new country without a vital member of the family (me), or any of the answers they were looking for, and I could not be more proud. I am so excited for my family to show the love of Christ to people in a new city. God called his disciples to drop everything and follow him "because I said so", so that is exactly what my parents are doing.

They will miss out on my graduation from college, and possibly some other things in my life;  but I would rather them show me the true meaning of following God, than to do what feels comfortable. God will honor them for following him without all the answers, and I can't wait to see what their faith can do.

Faith is hard and sometimes the only thing we have to go on is... "because I said so".

Hair or Hero

Getting a haircut or becoming a missionary, which would you say is more pleasing to God?

The missionary duh! I mean growing up in the church we are "unofficially" taught that the highest level of holy that you could get was being a missionary, being a pastor was a close second, so I guess that makes us pastors kids third by association.

When I was in high school I was extremely excited to go on my first missions trip. This was the first big God step that every Christian should take. I had grown up following Christ, but now I was going to prove it by going to the other side of the world Thailand. The trip opened my eyes to injustice and I began to imagine how I would be the one to save the day. I assumed that God always asked for you to take a huge step of faith, like instantly moving to another country to be the hero. After getting home I realized that I must be called into full time missions in Thailand. I didn't think I needed to really pray about it because it was a good thing, I mean I would go right after college and save people. I already had the plan of what Nonprofit I would work with and where I would live.

 As the trip became further back in my memories I started to worry that maybe this was not the lane for me. I had already told everyone I knew that I felt this call in my life. As these anxieties started coming up I talked to my dad about it. He told me to just pray if the feeling got stronger it was God, if it got weaker it wasn't. Simple enough, I am sure God will prove me right at any moment. Turns out when you pray for things, it gives God the permission to actually speak.

The feeling got weaker.

Now I am sure some of you are wondering what I meant when my first line was about getting a hair cut. When I was a freshman in college I was looking in the mirror one day and had the thought that I should cut and donate my hair. Wait what? No. I loved my long hair, that is what made me feel beautiful. I kind of laughed off the thought assuming I just didn't want to study anymore. When I was younger I had short hair, all one length, with a middle part. Ouch. So needless to say I did not find short hair cute on me. I loved it on other people, but for me I just could not picture it. For some reason this pesky thought kept coming to my mind. Finally I decided I would pray about it and I knew God would tell me I was being silly, why would God want me to cut my hair?

The feeling got stronger.

Wait that is not what should be happening. I was so frustrated that I decided to tell God that the only way I would cut my hair was if he gave me a good reason. (P.s maybe don't demand things from the creator of the universe, he might actually answer). As soon as the words left my mouth I heard the words in my mind "let me be the one that defines your beauty". Dang, that was a really good answer. I needed to cut my hair to let God define my beauty. This is a lesson many girls never hear. God has called us his beautiful daughters and for that reason I am always beautiful to him, even with short hair. If I am a missionary or if I am living on the street (preferably the beach) all God wants from me is my obedience.God has called me to follow him one step at a time and eventually those little steps might just be able to help people.

God is the true hero, so why do I keep trying to steal the role.

Final Exam

Final Exam.

Wow, just hearing the word exam brings anxiety and stress. Even more stress comes when I realize that I have my final exams next week! The end of the semester for a college student is probably one of the most stressful parts of the school year. At any given moment you can find college students crying over study guides, sleeping in coffee shops, and consuming more chocolate than the average person does in a year (oh maybe just me). But exams really can make or break your semester grade, and every student knows it.

The only thing worse than the actual exam, is trying to prepare for it. What should we study, who should we study with (we always have those friends who may not be the best person to keep us on track). We need to look over the book, our notes, and anything else we can find relating to the topic that our exam will cover.

This semester a week before my final, I found out the exam is open book. This is the best news! I was so excited to kick this test in the butt....then I remembered... I never bought the book. Wait what? Yeah...I thought it was kind of dumb to spend all that money on books that I don't really need. I mean hey I'm a senior I don't need to by textbooks. Now as I am realizing my mistakes it might be too late. I mean I doubt the book store has any left in stock, and ordering online around Christmas time will likely take 7 years, not 7 days.

Sometimes I think as Christians we float through life like seniors who float through classes. I grew up in the church so I know all of the right materials. I know the right things to say and how to say things to "encourage others" in the Lord. I can even quote John 3:16 to you with my eyes closed. But I never bought the book. Yes, I do own a Bible and yes I am trying to get into reading it on a daily basis. But how many of us Christians come to a test in our lives and we are so ready to conquer it ourselves. We try and remember everything we ever heard someone else say, we try and fight using our own knowledge.

Then God reminds us the test is open book. He has given us tools to fight against the enemy in his word. Using the book seems like a cop out, we should KNOW this stuff. If God was really testing me he would want me to rely on my own strength and use the bible verses I had memorized. If I use the book that shows God that I didn't really learn everything that I was supposed to learn. That means I failed, or worse cheated.

Psalm 18:30 "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

God is asking us to take refuge in him and he is saying that his word is a shield for us. When we go through trials God never asks us to recall everything and only be able to rely on our own knowledge. Prior knowledge is good because even in an open book test, you can get through it a lot faster when you already have an idea of where the information is. If we are going through tests of our faith, attacks on or our family, our friends, or any other things Satan can throw at us...we can rest in knowing that the test is open book.

God has given us the Bible for a reason and it does not show we are weak when we use it. Yes, God wants us to store scripture in our heart, but he loves us so much that he knows there is no way for us to know every scripture in the same way that God does, or the same way our neighbor does.

When we get to heaven God will ask us why we should get in; saying that you came to class, did okay on tests, and can recite exactly what the teacher/preacher said won't be enough. If we never buy the book and actually read it, then we may have missed out on what the whole purpose of the class was about.

Blank Page

Writer's block.

It always seems to come at the most inopportune times. When deadlines are on the table and that huge research paper is due in 3 hrs and counting. I never seem to have any ideas when the time matters most, usually just a blank page. To be honest, I don't have the words to say right now so I guess it is quite strange that I am writing a blog. Normally when I blog I have a big idea and can't seem to type the words fast enough, but not this time. I am sitting in my room with a nice smelling candle listening to music for inspiration and.....nothing.

Why do we always feel like we need to have the entire play-by-play for us to take action? We judge everything by the final product, this blog will even be "complete" by the time you read it, but it wasn't always complete. Teachers always wanted us to do a rough draft, but everyone knew we wouldn't be graded until the final copy. Other people are curing deadly diseases and helping the poor while I just "sit around". But I have writer's block...since I can't see the final picture than I can't begin the journey, right?

We always see people as complete, but are you? Most people I know would say they are far from a final copy, including myself. Writer's block is defined as "the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing." By the very definition of writer's block we can see that it is all about what we can think of and what we can imagine for ourselves. But then I guess that might be the problem. I am trying to write my story, I am trying to fill my pages with all the great things I can do, I want the best job and best future, how can I beat this block and write the best story around. While I try to write the best lines on my page, I sometimes forget it was never my blank page to begin with.

Psalm 139:16 says,
"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

The creator of the entire universe knows the final product. He can see where you will go and what you will do. He has filled your pages and story with amazing words and adventures, but HE wrote them. As long as we keep trying to "beat writers block" by taking our story into our own hands, we will miss out on so much of what God has for us. We can never start the story, if we are waiting for God to show us the conclusion.

I am graduating college in a few months and that literally terrifies me. I feel like I have writer's block in regards to my whole life. I am staring at a blank page of life with no job, no husband (a Christian college must), and no idea where I want to live. How can God use my page when there is nothing on it? I think this is the time God wants to use us the most. When we offer God our blank page we are not only offering up our past but we are also allowing him to write into our future. Stories, blogs, books, papers, none of them are written all at once. They start one word at a time. Following God does not mean that we get the complete play-by-play of what our lives will look like, but it does mean that we don't have to sweat over having a blank page. God will show us in time our next steps, and that is all we might get, one step at a time.

Following one step at a time is a lot harder than following a map to a destination, but writing a blog can't happen unless we start typing one word at a time.

Writer's block only limits us when we think we are the only author.

How To Float

Something most people know about me is that I love the beach. I have grown up in Michigan my whole life, so I have always been around water. In town we have a few different beaches we can go to. The closer we get to the bridge to Canada (Blue Water Bridge) where the lake and river meet, the faster and more ferocious the current gets.

I usually go to lighthouse beach, because of  the free parking, and the current there is very strong.  I always put my pink towel out to mark my territory on the beach. I leave all my things that I brought with me and head towards the water. Because I know how strong the current is, I start a little further up on the beach so that when I start to head towards the bridge I can still get out and go back to home base to catch some rays.

 Sometimes when we are looking at Gods love, it is like being in the lake swimming around.For me  I recognize being in God's love, but I am still always looking for the destination. As I swim around I am very aware of the shore with my pink towel marking my spot. I always want to know where the current is taking me. Since I grew up in church, I have been taught to pray expecting God to show me where to swim. I tell him that I can fight the current and go where ever he wants me to. God I will swim where ever, but in case you didn't notice, you have to give me the direction to begin paddling. 

At church camp or youth retreats  I feel the spiritual high. I tell God I am all in and jump into the water of his perfect love. The current of his grace starts to move me and it is scary, sometimes I try to swim the other direction but when I am feeling especially holy I let myself go with the flow. Well I go with the current as long as I can still see my towel. Once I get to the end of the beach I need to get out and walk back to home base. 

Lately I feel like God is trying to teach me to float. Not literally (although that would be helpful in Michigan summers) but spiritually. Floating away from my home base and going under the bridge with the raging water terrifies me. When I just float, I am completely vulnerable. Laying on my back floating in God's love means I can't always see what is in front of me. I have to fully trust that his current will take me to where I need to be.

I was always told that we as Christians need to live in the water, always be in his never ending love. What I failed to see was how dangerous the water is, when I can always see the pink towel.

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future."

To fully follow God's plan for me, I need to leave my pink towel and float. I have no idea what will happen in the current under the bridge but I know that I can't grow until I trust him enough to find out.

God teach me to float in your perfect love, and give me the courage to lose sight of my pink towel. 

Password

Passwords, we all have them. Passwords for your computer and all your personal information. Passwords to get your money out of the bank or keep your sibling out of your e-mails.

Sometimes passwords are used not only for our technology, but also for people. When my sister and I were younger I would be playing with my friends and for my sister to be allowed to play with us she needed a password. Of course she would never get it right, and if she did I just happened to change it before she finished her word (Sorry Morgan). I used my passwords to keep my little sister out, and sometimes our passwords for our lives keep other people out too. If a guy I had a crush on came up to me right now and asked for my number I would be totally game, but if he asked for my banking pin number that would be a problem and really creepy.

So to protect ourselves we have levels. Different passwords can unlock different parts of our lives. A friend might need to consistently devote time to a friendship and be honest with you for you to trust her opinion on if your dress makes you look fat. To get to the "next level" of friendship maybe both of you need to open up about past hurts in your lives. This password allows you to become more yourself and unlock different parts of you.

This is all fine and good, but what about that part of you that no one gets the password for. What do we do when no one we have ever met has said the words or done the deed required for us to move to that final level. That level where it is dirty and scary, the place where no one wants to see. If you are like me, then you might "change" the password when someone gets close, like I did with my little sister.

Psalm 139:1-3 (NLT) says,
"O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know EVERYTHING I do"

This verse is telling us that God literally knows everything about us, he overrides the system and bypasses our password. He currently has access to the most intimate part of our lives. He continually knows all of our secrets and gross parts of our past. He has access, but still seeks your permission. God created you from his hands and knows exactly what you are going to say before you say it. He knows how many cute guys you check out on the way to class (oh- maybe just me), and how many hairs are on your head.

God knows it all...and STILL wants to pursue you.
"Your beauty and love chase after me everyday of my life." Psalm 23:6a ( The Message)

Christ is pursuing you and loves you so much. He knows the darkest scariest part of your life and he still wants a relationship with you.
Even though he knows everything about you, he won't change your "settings" or any of your other personal information. He loves you so much that he gave you a choice. The only way we can allow God to alter our lives and our hearts is to give him the password and let him make the changes.

Allowing another "admin" in our lives is scary, I totally get that. How can we give him access to all of us and expect him to stay?  How can we even change with the current codes we already have? Thankfully we don't need to worry about that. Since Jesus died on the cross he crushed our sin and our need for a password with him.

Allow Jesus to gain access to your heart and he will cast out the fear and show you his beauty.

Beauty

Beauty.... it's a weird word right?
According to the Webster Dictionary the full definition of beauty is:  the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" A quote that most of us have heard, especially if you are friends with an undiscovered artist. When I look at most famous art pieces I  honestly don't find a lot of the paintings beautiful. If I see it, and don't  like it I simply move on and think it is an unpleasant looking thing (which according to the Webster definition is not beauty) but I then again the painting wasn't made for me. It was created by the creator for the creator. S/He can create something simply because they find it beautiful and want the world to see it. Maybe the creator was going through a tough time and felt like that painting was their only way out, it sure does put some more meaning to the seemingly unpleasing picture I saw.

The creator defines the beauty of the piece.
Who or what defines your beauty?

I think as a woman I find it so hard to remember who or what should or should not define my beauty. I want to be pleasing to others and myself but how can I do that when I don't understand where my beauty came from. I grew up in the church and my parents are amazing Godly people. Both of them told me regularly that I was beautiful and I did believe them, but they were my parents after all (I hear that is kind of their job). I never thought of myself as "beautiful" in the way I thought girls should be beautiful. I was not as thin or as "cool" as many of the other girls I went to middle and high school with. I did like my personality and okay maybe I was "beautiful on the inside", but all the other girls seemed to be beautiful on the outside too. I was comparing myself to the magazines and the girls my age I saw on TV (I know what a cliche). I am 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend (well besides a brief "camp relationship" in 8th grade). Sometimes the lies of the world tell me the reason for this is because i'm missing that "outward beauty" that I see other girls have.

 So many girls I know have struggled with self-image, actually almost all girls I have met struggle with self-image. We can blame the media, or the moms, or the fashion world, but are those the issues or the symptoms. Trying to cut a plant out on the top still leaves the root and it can continue to grow. So I guess the better question is what is the root of the problem? I guess I feel that it comes when we forget who defines our beauty. Remember the creator defines the beauty of his creation (not just the temporary people who pass by). I always knew there was a greater purpose for my life growing up understanding that Jesus died for me because he loves me so much, but I guess I never thought about how much love he poured into creating me to be the woman I am now.

 We were all created with a purpose by an amazing Creator.

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

So I was created by the creator and He says I am his masterpiece. If I decide to let God define my beauty would could that look like? He loves his masterpiece so much that no one else can define the beauty of the piece. That means that guys, friends, social media, and anything or anyone else can NOT change the beauty of the piece. That means that I do not have to live in fear because I was made with perfect love, and perfect love drives out fear. That means that I can live boldly in my own skin.
That means I can find myself beautiful inside and out.

You are God's beautiful masterpiece and he is so proud of you. Let the creator define the creations beauty. And lucky for us his opinion of the piece can not be changed by the haters (as T-Swift would say). You are more than just what you or anyone else sees in you.