How To Float

Something most people know about me is that I love the beach. I have grown up in Michigan my whole life, so I have always been around water. In town we have a few different beaches we can go to. The closer we get to the bridge to Canada (Blue Water Bridge) where the lake and river meet, the faster and more ferocious the current gets.

I usually go to lighthouse beach, because of  the free parking, and the current there is very strong.  I always put my pink towel out to mark my territory on the beach. I leave all my things that I brought with me and head towards the water. Because I know how strong the current is, I start a little further up on the beach so that when I start to head towards the bridge I can still get out and go back to home base to catch some rays.

 Sometimes when we are looking at Gods love, it is like being in the lake swimming around.For me  I recognize being in God's love, but I am still always looking for the destination. As I swim around I am very aware of the shore with my pink towel marking my spot. I always want to know where the current is taking me. Since I grew up in church, I have been taught to pray expecting God to show me where to swim. I tell him that I can fight the current and go where ever he wants me to. God I will swim where ever, but in case you didn't notice, you have to give me the direction to begin paddling. 

At church camp or youth retreats  I feel the spiritual high. I tell God I am all in and jump into the water of his perfect love. The current of his grace starts to move me and it is scary, sometimes I try to swim the other direction but when I am feeling especially holy I let myself go with the flow. Well I go with the current as long as I can still see my towel. Once I get to the end of the beach I need to get out and walk back to home base. 

Lately I feel like God is trying to teach me to float. Not literally (although that would be helpful in Michigan summers) but spiritually. Floating away from my home base and going under the bridge with the raging water terrifies me. When I just float, I am completely vulnerable. Laying on my back floating in God's love means I can't always see what is in front of me. I have to fully trust that his current will take me to where I need to be.

I was always told that we as Christians need to live in the water, always be in his never ending love. What I failed to see was how dangerous the water is, when I can always see the pink towel.

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future."

To fully follow God's plan for me, I need to leave my pink towel and float. I have no idea what will happen in the current under the bridge but I know that I can't grow until I trust him enough to find out.

God teach me to float in your perfect love, and give me the courage to lose sight of my pink towel. 

Password

Passwords, we all have them. Passwords for your computer and all your personal information. Passwords to get your money out of the bank or keep your sibling out of your e-mails.

Sometimes passwords are used not only for our technology, but also for people. When my sister and I were younger I would be playing with my friends and for my sister to be allowed to play with us she needed a password. Of course she would never get it right, and if she did I just happened to change it before she finished her word (Sorry Morgan). I used my passwords to keep my little sister out, and sometimes our passwords for our lives keep other people out too. If a guy I had a crush on came up to me right now and asked for my number I would be totally game, but if he asked for my banking pin number that would be a problem and really creepy.

So to protect ourselves we have levels. Different passwords can unlock different parts of our lives. A friend might need to consistently devote time to a friendship and be honest with you for you to trust her opinion on if your dress makes you look fat. To get to the "next level" of friendship maybe both of you need to open up about past hurts in your lives. This password allows you to become more yourself and unlock different parts of you.

This is all fine and good, but what about that part of you that no one gets the password for. What do we do when no one we have ever met has said the words or done the deed required for us to move to that final level. That level where it is dirty and scary, the place where no one wants to see. If you are like me, then you might "change" the password when someone gets close, like I did with my little sister.

Psalm 139:1-3 (NLT) says,
"O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know EVERYTHING I do"

This verse is telling us that God literally knows everything about us, he overrides the system and bypasses our password. He currently has access to the most intimate part of our lives. He continually knows all of our secrets and gross parts of our past. He has access, but still seeks your permission. God created you from his hands and knows exactly what you are going to say before you say it. He knows how many cute guys you check out on the way to class (oh- maybe just me), and how many hairs are on your head.

God knows it all...and STILL wants to pursue you.
"Your beauty and love chase after me everyday of my life." Psalm 23:6a ( The Message)

Christ is pursuing you and loves you so much. He knows the darkest scariest part of your life and he still wants a relationship with you.
Even though he knows everything about you, he won't change your "settings" or any of your other personal information. He loves you so much that he gave you a choice. The only way we can allow God to alter our lives and our hearts is to give him the password and let him make the changes.

Allowing another "admin" in our lives is scary, I totally get that. How can we give him access to all of us and expect him to stay?  How can we even change with the current codes we already have? Thankfully we don't need to worry about that. Since Jesus died on the cross he crushed our sin and our need for a password with him.

Allow Jesus to gain access to your heart and he will cast out the fear and show you his beauty.

Beauty

Beauty.... it's a weird word right?
According to the Webster Dictionary the full definition of beauty is:  the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" A quote that most of us have heard, especially if you are friends with an undiscovered artist. When I look at most famous art pieces I  honestly don't find a lot of the paintings beautiful. If I see it, and don't  like it I simply move on and think it is an unpleasant looking thing (which according to the Webster definition is not beauty) but I then again the painting wasn't made for me. It was created by the creator for the creator. S/He can create something simply because they find it beautiful and want the world to see it. Maybe the creator was going through a tough time and felt like that painting was their only way out, it sure does put some more meaning to the seemingly unpleasing picture I saw.

The creator defines the beauty of the piece.
Who or what defines your beauty?

I think as a woman I find it so hard to remember who or what should or should not define my beauty. I want to be pleasing to others and myself but how can I do that when I don't understand where my beauty came from. I grew up in the church and my parents are amazing Godly people. Both of them told me regularly that I was beautiful and I did believe them, but they were my parents after all (I hear that is kind of their job). I never thought of myself as "beautiful" in the way I thought girls should be beautiful. I was not as thin or as "cool" as many of the other girls I went to middle and high school with. I did like my personality and okay maybe I was "beautiful on the inside", but all the other girls seemed to be beautiful on the outside too. I was comparing myself to the magazines and the girls my age I saw on TV (I know what a cliche). I am 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend (well besides a brief "camp relationship" in 8th grade). Sometimes the lies of the world tell me the reason for this is because i'm missing that "outward beauty" that I see other girls have.

 So many girls I know have struggled with self-image, actually almost all girls I have met struggle with self-image. We can blame the media, or the moms, or the fashion world, but are those the issues or the symptoms. Trying to cut a plant out on the top still leaves the root and it can continue to grow. So I guess the better question is what is the root of the problem? I guess I feel that it comes when we forget who defines our beauty. Remember the creator defines the beauty of his creation (not just the temporary people who pass by). I always knew there was a greater purpose for my life growing up understanding that Jesus died for me because he loves me so much, but I guess I never thought about how much love he poured into creating me to be the woman I am now.

 We were all created with a purpose by an amazing Creator.

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

So I was created by the creator and He says I am his masterpiece. If I decide to let God define my beauty would could that look like? He loves his masterpiece so much that no one else can define the beauty of the piece. That means that guys, friends, social media, and anything or anyone else can NOT change the beauty of the piece. That means that I do not have to live in fear because I was made with perfect love, and perfect love drives out fear. That means that I can live boldly in my own skin.
That means I can find myself beautiful inside and out.

You are God's beautiful masterpiece and he is so proud of you. Let the creator define the creations beauty. And lucky for us his opinion of the piece can not be changed by the haters (as T-Swift would say). You are more than just what you or anyone else sees in you.

Next Steps

Dear Diary,
Wait no-
This is not a diary, but to be honest I have had many of those in the past. From the very important year of first grade up through now. I love to journal and process my life with myself. I no longer write "dear diary"  but it is the same concept, recording my day and my thoughts as I go through life.

So why do people journal? We want to remember. It is so fun looking back on all my old diaries and laughing at myself for something that I thought could be the end of the world 10 years ago and now is a minor inconvenience. I can also look back and see how God has provided for me, which really makes trusting him now so much easier. So I guess that is why I am starting a blog, I want to know what I did and how I felt at this time in my life 10 years from now. I will be graduating college next summer and starting life in the "real world". Woah- The more I say that the less I feel like it is true. I feel no where near ready for post-college life, but I guess they don't like when you stick around too much longer than 4 years (5 or 6 max).

Thankfully I don't have to fear the future because Perfect Love Casts Out Fear. So...here we go!